Journeys of a Former Firebrand

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, But the slow to anger calms a dispute.” (Proverbs 15:18, NASB95)

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Anger. It has destroyed family relationships and friendships. It’s landed people in jail and prison. It’s embroiled countries in war. These consequences of anger comprise a shorter version of a much longer list.

To put it simply, anger causes problems. And we certainly can’t ignore the fact that many of the problems that infest the world have their source in anger.

That’s why Solomon speaks so strongly on the issue in the Book of Proverbs. In fact, this isn’t the first time (or the last) that he broaches the subject.

Let’s look at the implications of the foolish, angry person and the wise peacemaker:

The angry person causes problems for all involved.

Here Solomon makes no distinction between personal strife and public strife. That’s key to understanding this proverb. Anger doesn’t discriminate. It simply harms everyone involved.

It certainly harms the one who is angry. How does it do so? First, the angry person allows himself to get into a pattern of sinful behavior. Anger is sin. There’s no getting around it. And that pattern becomes more ingrained each time the angry person engages in it.

Second, just like any other sin, anger causes a breakdown in self-control. Because anger so easily perpetuates itself, it drags the angry person down to depths where he can no longer control it easily. Pretty soon, that’s all the angry person allows himself to be – angry.

Third, the angry person sees his whole life spiral out of control because of his temper. He sees his life greatly impacted as his most important relationships fall apart. This may lead to relational withdrawal which leads to so-called anti-social behavior. Because of this inability to cope in social situations, the angry person will ultimately pay severe penalties, even the prospect of legal action, jail or prison.

The angry person also creates problems with others around him. First, his behavior may lead others to follow him in his anger. Children invariably follow their parents into very bad behavior. What’s more, children many times do in excess what their parents do in moderation. An angry boss produces angry employees. An angry spouse triggers a marital spat.

You get the picture.

He may also cause irreparable damage to some. A husband abuses his wife. A woman takes it too far with her children, causing physical harm. A man murders another in “a fit of passion.”

Whatever the situation, anger hurts both the angry person and those who experience his anger. Such bursts of anger lead to mistrust and, ultimately, an unstable situation all the way around.

How can an angry person change his situation? Simply, by learning to be wise.

A wise person learns to calm things down.

Now let’s look at the peacemaker. This may be a formerly angry person or someone who has a knack for bringing a soothing balm to a raw situation. Either way, this person finds a way to broker peace.

How does this peaceful person do this?

This means first that he must calm things down in his own heart. No. I’m not speaking of finding his “Zen” or practicing meditation techniques. Those practices may help some people for a short time, but anger isn’t something so easily solved.

Calming his own heart begins with viewing life as it should be viewed – as a constant effort to bring glory to God. If an angry person views his actions as that which enhances or defaces God’s glory, he might think twice about losing his cool.

This means he must depend on God for his strength as well. This means he may have to take a little extra time in prayer and Bible reading. This isn’t transcendental meditation. This is simply spending more time with the one Being in the universe who can help – God.

On top of all this, it takes a little effort to cool a hot temper. The angry person must learn a godly self-control that helps him keep his passions under wraps. If he can do these things, the angry man will become a peacemaker. The angry woman will become a calming influence.

This also means the wise person must learn to calm things down around him. Perhaps in the past, his attitude has influenced those closest to him in a negative way. By controlling himself, the wise person can focus his energies on repairing any relationships he has helped to wreck along the way by bringing peace that wasn’t there before.

What an impact such an action would have on those who only knew that person as angry!

To put it simply, the wise person must do more than quell his own anger. He must learn to douse the flames of anger in others as well. In that moment, the angry person becomes a true peacemaker.

True wisdom is found in calming every situation. Foolishness brings anger, destruction and misery to all.

So what?

Perhaps you are the exact angry person Solomon wrote about so many years ago. If so, get it together. Beg God to give you the strength to endure under emotional pressure. Step out of the way of stressful situations that may lead to anger.

The most important step you can take? Practice self-control. God is the author of self-control, but we still have the obligation to practice that inward reality in an outward way.

If you learn to have a cool head, you will find your heart burning with a much greater passion for God.

Are you in a situation where you have to deal with angry people? Have that cool head. If you need to, go into every meeting with an angry person with the intent to calm them down. This will allow you to anticipate the emotions you might have to deal with and capture them beforehand rather than trying to deal with them on the fly.

Also, ask God to give you strength before you endure the onslaught of that angry person. God will not fail to empower you with wisdom from His Spirit. After all, wasn’t it Jesus who on the cross said regarding those who were killing Him “Father, forgive them. They do not know what they do?”

Finally, it might be wise in some circumstances to simply take yourself out of the way of the angry person. Especially, in situations of abuse, the path of least resistance may be the best route.

That may mean getting a new job with a new boss and taking a huge pay cut. That may mean finding a better friend who doesn’t take advantage of you as a “punching bag.” In the end, it may be wise to simply remove yourself from the foolishness of an angry person.

All this means we need to strive for peace, both in our personal lives and our relationships. Glorify God by being a peacemaker. In this, we become more like His Son and most like Him.