30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:30–32, NKJV)
There’s a lot of talk about success out there. Success in the business realm. Success in the relationship realm. Success in life in general.
But what is true success? For those who call themselves Christians, success has a very specific look and feel. We should want success in the Christian life. We should want to live in a way that pleases God, whether that is at work, home or play. The way we approach the Christian life translates to all areas of life.
In fact, in this passage, God leaves us a trail of breadcrumbs to show us how we can truly find success in the Christian life.
To Find Success in the Christian Life We must first have the Spirit of God.
This is a must for truly living the Christian life. If we don’t have the Spirit, we don’t have the Christian life. If we don’t have the Christian life, it’s kind of hard to find success in something we don’t have.
Although Paul doesn’t tell us we have to have the Holy Spirit inside of us, he certainly implies it. He says, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” How can that be done if we don’t first have the Holy Spirit inside of us?
How do we manage getting the Holy Spirit? Well, God gives Him to us. When we put our faith in Jesus and believe that His work alone saves us, we receive the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38).
To be spiritually alive we have to have the Holy Spirit. Without the Holy Spirit, we can never live the Christian life. That life is completely and totally a product of God’s regenerative power in salvation (see 1 Corinthians 2). And we live by His power.
To find success in the Christian life we must Also put off the sin in our Lives.
John Owen said, “Be killing sin, or it will be killing you.” That statement sounds odd by today’s standards. His point was simple. Ridding ourselves of sin is a fulltime job that never allows us to check out in this life.
Certainly, the Holy Spirit empowers us to overcome sin. This much is true. But there’s also an active component to fighting sin.
We “grieve” Him when we don’t do what we should and obey God. We lose His blessing and power when we allow sin to take over.
This implies that if we actively grieve the Holy Spirit when we sin, we must also actively rid ourselves of sin when we want to deal with it. It isn’t a matter of “letting God take the wheel.” If it were that simple, everybody would be sinless and free!
We still have to act in the power of the Holy Spirit and actively fight that sin. That’s the reason why Paul says what he says here.
“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.”
Notice Paul doesn’t say, “Concerning sin, let go and let God!” What he says is “put away.” Although here it’s a passive verb, the idea is very much active. “Be killing sin, or it will be killing you.”
To use a different picture, we must actively deal with our sin and eradicate that weed from the garden of our hearts.
To find success in the Christian life we then Live Life to God’s Glory.
Paul ends the section with this admonition:
” And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
We need to show compassion and kindness to each other. Here Paul means specifically other Christians. But we don’t simply show kindness and compassion just because it’s the right thing to do. We don’t forgive because it’s decent or ethical.
We show kindness, compassion and forgiveness because God showed those things to us first when He sent His Son Jesus Christ to this earth to die on a cross so that our sins could be forgiven. The reason why we live out the Christian life is so that we can emulate, and therefore glorify, our God.
So What?
If we are Christians, this is how we should live. Have the Holy Spirit and embrace His power. Eradicate the sin in our lives. Live to the glory of God.
This is the essence of the Christian life with no other option mentioned in the Word of God.
Journeys of a Former Firebrand 
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