Then the Lord passed by in front of him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin.” Exodus 34:6–7 NASB
I recently heard a sermon on a topic that many people wrestle with—self-forgiveness. It was very good. The young preacher made his point well, and let’s just say he wasn’t a fan.
Pop culture loves self-forgiveness. It’s a concept often encouraged by counselors, psychologists, and even some pastors. But should we simply accept this idea without testing it against Scripture? Have we put our brains in neutral so that we can coast into the ideas of trusted professionals without first checking their facts?
The idea of self-forgiveness is often presented as a necessary step toward healing and emotional well-being. We’re told that until we forgive ourselves, we will continue to carry guilt and regret. But while this teaching may sound appealing, we must consider whether it is biblical. What does God actually say about forgiveness, and does He instruct us to forgive ourselves?
Examining the Source of Self-Forgiveness
Many believe that you must forgive yourself for emotional and spiritual health. But where did this idea come from? Does it have biblical support?
Surprisingly, Scripture never commands or even hints at self-forgiveness. Instead, the Bible speaks extensively about God’s forgiveness and our duty to forgive others. If self-forgiveness were essential, wouldn’t Jesus, Paul, or Peter have addressed it?
On top of this, many who don’t focus on self-forgiveness live with joy and peace, while others who chase it are caught in a cycle of guilt and temporary relief. The real issue is not whether we think we should forgive ourselves, but whether God has spoken on the matter.
There’s one important consideration here. Why do we feel the need to forgive ourselves? If God has already forgiven us, what authority do we have to declare ourselves unforgiven? The Bible teaches that sin is against God (Psalm 51:4), and only He has the right to forgive. Seeking self-forgiveness places our authority above God’s, as if His forgiveness is not enough.
The Biblical Alternative to Self-Forgiveness
If Scripture doesn’t teach self-forgiveness, what does it teach? The Bible presents a far superior alternative—true forgiveness from God. The problem with self-forgiveness is that it is human-centered and incomplete. At best, it provides temporary relief, but it never deals with sin in a final, authoritative way. That’s why so many who try to forgive themselves end up repeating the process over and over again.
God’s forgiveness, on the other hand, is absolute, eternal, and perfect. Mark 2:7 states, “Who can forgive sins but God alone?” If only God can truly forgive sin, then self-forgiveness is unnecessary. Instead of looking inward for relief, we should look to Christ, who offers full pardon through His sacrifice on the cross.
Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” We are called to forgive others, not ourselves, because God’s forgiveness is already sufficient. If we have been forgiven by Him, what else do we need?
Furthermore, self-forgiveness often keeps people trapped in a cycle of self-condemnation. People try to forgive themselves, only to fail and feel worse than before. This is because human forgiveness is imperfect. Only God’s forgiveness is perfect, sufficient, and final.
Resting in God’s Forgiveness
Exodus 34:6–7 beautifully describes the character of God—He is compassionate, gracious, and abounding in steadfast love. His forgiveness is not fleeting or incomplete. It is enduring, eternal, and irrevocable. When we trust in Christ, we receive a forgiveness far greater than anything we could offer ourselves.
Additionally, self-forgiveness can sometimes become a distraction from true repentance. Instead of coming to God in humility, people try to handle their guilt on their own. The truth is, no amount of self-forgiveness will cleanse our conscience. Only the blood of Christ can do that (Hebrews 9:14).
So What?
What’s the cure? When you feel the weight of guilt, don’t turn to self-forgiveness. That cycle will never satisfy. Instead, turn to God. If He has forgiven you, there is nothing left to forgive. Embrace His grace, trust in His promise, and live in the joy of true, lasting forgiveness.
Instead of striving for self-forgiveness, we should practice remembering God’s forgiveness. When the enemy tries to remind us of our past sins, we must remind ourselves of the cross. We are not the ones who declare ourselves righteous—God does. And His declaration is final.
So the next time you struggle with guilt and the temptation to “forgive yourself,” ask yourself: Have I truly repented? Have I placed my trust in Christ’s finished work? If so, then the matter is settled. God’s forgiveness is complete. There is no higher court of appeal than His grace.
So claim it. Own it. Thank God for it. And live in that forgiveness forever.
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